After watching the newest season of Love is Blind (Season 7), set in Washington, D.C., I feel like I have even more questions raised about this whole process. Read on to find out my thoughts.
Love is Blind Season 7 Feels Really Different
I am not sure if it is just me, but this season felt very different. I do not know if it's the commercialization factor of the show - contestants may be entering the experience for exposure, TV time, fame, etc. Seeing how past participants were skyrocketed into stardom (even if for a minute), I would think there is some appeal to go on this show for that reason. I imagine the very first season of Love is Blind was a much different experience than season 7. I feel that most reality shows, after some time, become production machines.
When most of the couples got matched and saw each other in person for the first time (during the official reveal), I felt a sense of unease. It felt like something was off; many lacked a genuine connection, and seeing them meet each other in physical form just felt awkward to me. There was something missing, and I couldn't quite place my finger on it. There was less of that spark and excitement between contestants that I noticed before in past seasons.
On a different note, I did notice participants talking about physical features (their own and the other person's) much more than before. I know this still happened in past seasons, but I feel that most of the individuals in this season commented on looks in some way. I do take into consideration that there is lots of heavy editing. The show is condensed into a few hours from thousands of hours of footage.
My Concerns with This Show
As mentioned in other posts, I think this is a wishful thinking kind of a show. It is not an "experiment," despite it being dubbed as such. It is fabricated for our entertainment, and the components of this show make it entirely unrealistic. For example, being secluded for days in pods without much communication with the outside world is completely unrelatable to real life. Nor is this how individuals find their romantic partners; most include their family and friends in the process in one way or another.
After finding their "person" and being matched up, coupled-up individuals are whisked away to a romantic destination. At some point, everyone is introduced to each other, sparking more drama. I would imagine the incentive to get coupled up is high, as this guarantees a free vacation/getaway, more air time, and more exposure. But let's go back to the basics and talk about what the concept of love being "blind" even is.
What Does It Mean for Love To Be "Blind?"
I think the point of the show is to remove physicality from the process of dating. This is especially a hot topic in our culture today, where social media, filters, and editing are the norm. This has significantly influenced dating as well. What if we took all that away? What remains, then? Just like Brittany said in one episode, she cannot charm someone with her looks. She has to rely on words and communication alone.
I do believe that individuals have the capacity to fall in love with someone without considering or placing a heavy emphasis on looks. After all, it is possible to fall in love with someone's features even if you did not romantically "love" this person before, and vice versa - you can fall out of love with someone's physicality/features. What drives this change? I think a big part could be all of the things in between: non-physical connection, past experiences, communication, etc. So this brings me to my next point... Is love really blind?
Do I Think Love is Blind?
Certainly, after watching the show, I am less and less convinced of this. I witnessed participants having a difficult time adjusting to and matching the "voice" with the "face" or the physicality of their partner. I imagine this adjustment is not only not natural but also a bit traumatic or distressing. Here you are, matched with someone through their voice and only your verbal communication with them, and now you have to sync up your mind, body, and soul to the physicality of your partner, all before the audience of the whole world. There's not really much room to back out, process your feelings, or adjust in a proper and healthy way.
In my opinion, I do think there are many parts of love that can be blind. But is this show a good representation of that? Absolutely not. I think it is safe to assume romantic connections are about much more than just looks. If they solely depended on looks, then it is likely that that type of connection would not last because there is not much depth to it. What happens when "looks" go away? What happens when partners age, a natural part and process of being human? I think true love and partnership come from loving an individual at their core; the physicality is just a bonus.
And on that note, I do not recommend for someone to carelessly endorse the saying "love is blind." Because the truth is, there is so much more to finding a romantic partner than looks or simply being "blind" to the physicality of another. As a holistic therapist, I always recommend people check in with how someone makes them feel. For example, does the individual make you feel safe? Do you feel constantly triggered or uneasy? Is the individual willing to put in the work to make the relationship work? These factors, in my opinion, are much more necessary to consider than simply reducing dating to looks, physicality, or being subjected to a "Love is Blind" pod.
A Little Bit About Me
I am a holistic therapist specializing in trauma, anxiety, life transitions, and more. I also specialize in relational therapy based on helping individuals build secure attachments with themselves and the world around them; this includes creating safe and secure romantic relationships. I enjoy helping individuals on their journeys in healing trauma, and I do EMDR therapy, somatic trauma therapy, and DBT. If you would like to receive counseling for trauma, anxiety, life transitions, or relationships, feel free to reach out to learn more about what next steps you can take for yourself to create lasting change and begin the process of healing.
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