Here I come, yet again, offering up my commentary about the new Love is Blind season 6. While many are busy dissecting the behaviors and patterns of the cast members, I am left aghast with how the participants are treated and vilified. I can see the psychological distress on the faces of many individuals, and yet not much is done to hold space for the trauma that such participants face. In fact, quite the opposite is carefully crafted, with the producers creating scenarios that bring up the most psychological and emotional distress for cast members.
One of these moments that comes to mind is when Nick and Vanessa Lachey "exposed" Trevor during the reunion episode. I was horrified watching the inner turmoil that he must have been facing when the hosts proceeded to interrogate him. Yes, he messed up hugely, and his decisions were questionable, but is it okay to be put on the spot in this way for all of America to see and cast judgment on? Is it okay to continue to poke and prod him when he is clearly in severe distress?
At one point, Nick and Vanessa point to the fact that there were a total of 11 couples that got married as a result of the show (although only 9 remain married now), using this as data to claim the show's "success." What I thought at that moment was: how many couples failed? How many individuals participated in the show in total, and what is the actual success percentage? How many people left with much more trauma and inner turmoil than they anticipated and originally came in with? And what exactly is a true measure of the show's success?
For the inner data geek in me, I looked up the number of contestants per season. That number is around 30 people (with the exception of about 40-50 contestants in season 1). That means a total of 190-200 individuals participated in all of the six seasons so far. If 9 couples remain married (18 individuals total), then the show has an overall 9% success rate. This season specifically, the show's success rate is a low 6-7% (1 couple got married out of 30 contestants). And my question remains - out of the 190 to 200 people that participated, how many were left with emotional distress that they then had to face, manage, and treat?
Those who have done therapy, especially deep healing therapy, where you look at your own patterns and behaviors in an honest way, could probably look back and describe very painful and uncomfortable moments in this process. The span of this lasts for about an hour of therapy a week, where individuals also get to process on their own between sessions and regulate their nervous system. Now, imagine going through this in a sped-up and isolated way, where everyone in America (and other countries watching) gets to witness and criticize your every (edited and synthesized) move. Does this sound ethical or moral?
The reason I said edited and synthesized is because this so-called "reality TV" isn't really reality. Contestants are strategically manipulated for the benefit of drama, conflict, shock value, and emotional upheaval, resulting in more views (show producers know people love drama and drama sells). As I mentioned in a previous blog post, there are many ways to easily manipulate human behavior. For example, in Love is Blind, contestants are not provided adequate water and yet are granted an overabundance of alcohol. Their meals and food intake are also not properly monitored, regulated, or accounted for. They have to film for up to 20 hours a day, get little sleep and sunlight, and have no access to their phones. I do not believe that they have access to a mental health professional on set either.
Participants are also isolated from their friends and loved ones, and this is an important facet of the show. Cults and high control groups utilize their power via this tactic - isolation. Isolation is dangerous and manipulative as human beings are not meant to operate individually (or alone with new strangers). Our brains are wired to connect with others. Those who have been in our lives for a while and can provide honest feedback, support, and love can be a sounding board and offer healthy guidance. Yet, when contestants are finally able to see their close ones, they have already made a commitment in the form of an engagement to another cast member, with the promise to marry this person in a matter of days and weeks.
After filming for a grueling amount of time (the contestants have each said that hours and days in the pods feel like months), coupled up participants are released into another controlled environment, where they go to a planned vacation spot. Their interactions with other contestants are timed and regulated. When they go back into the "real world," they have to adjust to their regular routine, work, and social life. This transition must be a shock to many. And again, these carefully crafted moments and transitions spark drama, emotional dysregulation, and fighting between couples. Think about how jet lag causes mood shifts and irritability. Now multiply that by 10; the contestants are isolated in the pods for 10 days, followed by a honeymoon for a few days, and then moving in together for around 21 days before a conclusive and legally binding "I do." I get whiplash just thinking about this setup.
From a psychological perspective, I can imagine that participating in such an intensive experience causes emotional and nervous system dysregulation for many. It can also trigger a lot of trauma. This is especially intense when you add love into the mix; many people's traumas are a result of their early upbringing and family environment, which then trickles into problematic and intense intimate and interpersonal relationships if not healed and worked on. This brings me to my next question: How are contestants cast?
A quick Google search shows me that there is a lengthy interview process and even a psychological evaluation before individuals are officially selected to be in the pods. With the latest season, I've come to question this casting/interview process quite a bit. I would not be surprised if the producers/casting directors look out for certain psychological traits or mannerisms and add some individuals to the show for their shock value. After all, who doesn't love a good villain or a person there for the "wrong reasons" - a topic of conversation for many such "reality" shows.
My last point that I find concerning across all reality shows is that the editing process is condensed to show the most dramatic and intensive moments. We get to see about 12-13 hours of footage (yes, I calculated) over the span of filming for about a month. The opaque drinking glasses used in such shows allow the editors to splice and edit the scenes in any way they want. They then release this footage for close public scrutiny. I consider this grossly unethical and disturbing as it is all done for the purpose of views, monetization, and streaming hits and ratings.
Overall, I will say that I am incredibly frustrated with this franchise and its spinoffs. I stopped watching the Bachelor/Bachelorette because I found it quite disturbing how people were pitted against each other in a highly fabricated way. I cannot help but feel incredibly frustrated with the reality TV machine that has been created. I also cannot help but feel so much compassion for the contenstants who are brave enough to go on such shows.
One might argue that they knew what they were getting themselves into. But did they really? How many details are carefully left out of the show's contract? After all, these contracts and settings are crafted not with the mental health of the contestants in mind. Everything on these shows is created for the production value. The intent is never about the well-being of the participants, because if it was, these shows would be incredibly boring and less appealing to the masses. So, with that being said, your view is your vote for what kinds of shows and content get created. Exercise your vote with caution and consider the humanity of the contestants before you judge or criticize what you see.
