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  • Writer's pictureValeriya Bauer

The Ultimatum: Queer Love - Dangers of "Reality TV"

I just finished watching The Ultimatum: Queer Love on Netflix, and I have so many thoughts. I will be honest - it was challenging watching some parts of the show. My biggest concern is how these networks exploit people, the cast members, for the sake of "reality TV." The truth is these shows are highly edited and synthesized to present certain storylines. There's nothing "real" about them.

I used to watch many of these shows such as The Bachelorette and The Bachelor, but as time went on, I developed a different opinion about these shows. I started thinking about what the contestants on this show must be subjected to. For example, in The Bachelorette specifically, the contestants are placed in a microcosm where they cannot speak to their family or friends and are not allowed to use their cell phones for the duration of the filming of the show. They live and breathe the toxic bachelor/bachelorette culture every day, which has absolutely no resemblance to the real world. No wonder then, that most of these couples do not end up together.

I also became concerned when I heard about the suicides that resulted from Love Island. This is when I first became aware of the other side of all this - the mental health dangers for the participants of such shows. I remember I read an article that talked about how the producers on this show specifically would manipulate human behavior. For example, they would wake them up early (to promote irritability, drama, etc.) and provide ample alcohol. Producers additionally stir drama by introducing certain cast members back (that were previously romantically engaged with another cast member), sparking tension between couples. I believe this is emotional and psychological abuse. After just one season and observing what is going on, I could not watch this show any longer.

So I've sat with these thoughts for a while. Most people I speak to seem to be aware of the fact that reality TV is not really "reality TV." I also don't think people stop to consider the dangers of going on these shows. Most people probably think it would be a cool idea to go on a national TV show, but they do not consider the consequences that may come with such an "opportunity." I've seen many cast members speak out about how they were highly edited, and what you saw on TV did not accurately represent what actually happened. After all, the producers do have to edit the scenes to make them as dramatic as possible for "good reality TV." They likely do not care about the participants or what this does to their well-being.

The cast members probably have no idea how they are edited in the show either, and only get to see the whole series when it is made available to the public. I remember reading about how in The Ultimatum and Love Is Blind shows, the participants use metal non-see-through cups so that the editors can stitch together various clips in whatever order they want. This prevents viewers from noticing discrepancies in the timelines of the clips stitched together. While this is clever, it is again manipulative for the people being filmed. And not only that, but these cast members then have to face social media scrutiny and public criticism, where people comment on the highly edited storylines that they see. I can only imagine how difficult this must be.

One of my other big concerns I have noticed on The Ultimatum: Queer Love show is that the cast members are often talking or venting to the producers about whatever conflict is going on. Are there any trained mental health clinicians on staff? How qualified are these producers, and do they have the best interest of the cast members in mind? I believe that all such shows should have a mandatory mental health clinician on staff to help with any concerns that arise. Producers are not equipped to handle such concerns in an appropriate manner.

So what do we do from here? What can be done? I think there are many things that can be done. As a consumer, we have the ability to give power to certain shows and platforms. If you see the exploitation of human behavior on a show, tread carefully. Think about what you are watching and what you would be supporting. Don't be quick to judge what you see on TV - it is not real. You do not know the cast members and their full story. The people on TV also have real lives and real feelings, and they probably were not fully aware of what the experience of the show would be like (the editing, manipulation, etc.). These shows were not created for the contestants. They were created for views and revenue. My other comment as I mentioned above, is that such shows should be required by law to have a mental health clinician be present on staff. This is a must, especially if you are involving real human emotion and psychological turmoil. What are your thoughts on reality TV?

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